I had the amazing opportunity to talk with Megan, who is from New Zealand. It was my first time speaking with someone outside of the United States, so it was extra fun for me. I learned a lot from her and was so interested and intrigued in what she was talking about.

She told me about something I’d never heard of before. She talked about how there are different kinds of attraction. There were four that she talked about:

• Physical attraction, which is people being aesthetically pleasing to you. For example, you find tall people attractive. That’s physical attraction. It doesn’t mean you’re attracted to all tall people, but you do find tall people attractive.

• Sexual attraction is exactly what you think. You are sexually attracted to someone—you would be interested in having sex with someone.

• Romantic attraction is where you are interested in being connected with someone. You enjoy being with them and having a relationship with them. You would be interested in having them as a partner.

• Sensual attraction is touch. You want to touch someone, whether it be just being near them, holding hands, kissing, etc.

I may not be doing justice to these, and after doing some research I found people who add a lot more types of attraction to this list, but these are the ones Megan talked to me about.
As odd as it may sound, I’d never heard of anything like this before. It was quite eye-opening for me actually. I count myself very lucky and fortunate that all of my attractions line up. I’ve always been attracted, in all areas, to men. So I am attracted, in all areas, to men.

But separating things out like that helped me see how difficult things can be for people if not everything lines up. It is all so much more complicated than I ever thought about before. No wonder it’s a struggle!

Anyway. Megan talked to me about the physical scar she has from a skin infection when she was 17. Her internal scar dealt with coming out as asexual to her sister, who, at the time, was less than supportive.

Some people have never heard of anyone being asexual. It’s definitely something that is finally being talked about more and people are learning more about it. If you don’t know what that is, it means you are not sexually attracted to anyone. That’s not to say you aren’t attracted to anyone in other ways, but sexual attraction is not something you experience.

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